What I Want

Couldn't resist just another quick blog session, but instead of about what I'm up to, its to get out what I want. What my dreams are and where I want to be in the next few years. A dream within the mind is only a dream, a dream put out and written on paper is the first step to it becoming a reality. (ok, I realise that blog doesn't mean paper, but the writing it on paper is going to be happening a little later on). So.... What I want. I want to live somewhere where I can walk to the beach, at any time of year, and bathe, swim and feel the warmth of sun on skin. I want to have a nice comfortable home, not too big, not too small. Large enough to accomodate guests and a growing family, but not too large that it cannot be managed. I want to get a cleaner for my house at the moment, I'm spending time cleaning when I could be spending time doing things that I enjoy. I want to have children and more specifically than that, I would dearly love to have a son. I want to improve myself, I want to communicate better and become a better listener. I want to start acting like a leader rather than talking like one (funnily enough I've got a feeling that with that one, it will actually bring all of my other wants into line). I want to test myself, challenge my body and my mind, to push limits and step beyond the comfort zone. I want to get things done, I procrastinate a lot and so I will dream about doing something, but rarely take the first step into actually doing it. (I think that changing my procrastination will also have a significant effect on all the other tasks). I'm not saying I want to be impulsive or overly spontaneous, but that I want to be a doer rather than a dreamer. I guess the idea of this little spiel here is so that once these wants are out, I can no longer back away from them, that they become focus points.

For a little background moment, in the past I've wanted to buy and fix up a house, a van, grow and harvest food, open restaurants and bars, live way out in the sticks and be self sufficient and probably a number of others. Realistically I think yes while its important to dream, its also important, especially for me, to realise that I'm not quite cut out for some of these dreams at the moment.

Back to the wants. More than all of the others, I want to live a long and happy life. To do that I have to be healthy, (which I'll say right now doesn't mean I have to be boring). So, to achieve that I need to spend time on me, work out more often, and I need to drink less and stop smoking. I realise its a tall order, but I've been smoking for a long time now, and it really is time to call it a day on that one.

The current mission: today will be the last day that I smoke. Today will be a new beginning of freedom. I choose the path I follow and others can follow me if they want. Sheep - no thanks, tired of that. It is frustrating to have to follow someone or rely on something that is harmful. ok, time for a smoke and to really taste how bad it is.